Facing the Music

When I sat down to write this article for this Substack newsletter on Being a One-Woman Band, which I had enthusiastically started three weeks ago, I hesitated.

Two things held me back.

First: “What qualifies me to be a multi-instrumentalist?” Yes, I grew up on classical piano for eight years, and I’ve spent the past four years developing my ability to play by ear. Along the way, I picked up other instruments well enough to serve in my local church.

Yet, something still whispered that I am unqualified to speak about it. That’s the voice of “imposter syndrome”—what the Cambridge Dictionary describes as “the feeling that your achievements are not real or that you do not deserve praise or success.”

Second: the twins of perfectionism and procrastination. That voice that says, “When I’m ready, I’ll…” But both are two sides of the same coin, driven by fear.

So before I move forward with the other posts I have lined up, I felt I had to address this issue. It’s time to “Face the Music.” The idiom usually means to confront negative consequences (giving music a bad rap—pun intended!).

But here, I want to turn it around. For me, “facing the music” is about looking at both the good and the hard parts of ourselves squarely, and making the decision to take ownership: to steward what we have, and to lean into the discomfort of growing into who we can become.

Owning Who We Are

Music has been part of my life since childhood, and it came naturally to me. At six years old, after my ABRSM Grade 1 piano exam, the examiner stepped out of the room to ask, “Whose student is this?”

Yet despite these early moments of recognition, it was only as an adult, under the tutelage of Dr. Onyemachi Chuku at HearandPlay’s VIP Coaching Program, that I began to truly see myself as the musician God intended me to be.

The first step to change is building a new identity. James Clear, in his bestselling book Atomic Habits, describes three layers of change (read more in this article):

• Outcomes (results) – what you get

• Processes (systems and habits) – what you do

• Identity (the deepest layer) – what you believe

For a long time, I thought identity came after achievement: after the certificates, the recognition, the results.

But I’ve come to realise that many successful people weren’t necessarily the most talented or the smartest. They were simply the ones who gave themselves permission to start, and the grit to continue.

Created to Create

As a person of faith, I root my identity in Psalm 139:14: “I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” It’s a verse I remind myself of every year on my birthday.

Each of us carries the image of God and the capacity to create. From the account of creation, Adam was given relationship with God first, then a job (naming the animals), and later a partner (Genesis 2).

Adam was designed with a specific assignment for a particular season. The same is true for us: we are made to be with God and to do life by God’s design.

Back to being a multi-instrumentalist: the longer I spend in private listening, personal practice, public performance, and playing with others, the more I realise that this journey is less about talent and more about responsibility.

Like Adam in the Garden of Eden, we need to “work it and take care of it” (Genesis 2: 15).

Talent is God-given (like what the six-year-old me had); but cultivating talent takes willingness to hone and own what we have. We need to “face the music.”

A Reminder

So if you’re on the fence because of imposter syndrome, or stuck in fear-driven perfectionism and procrastination, here’s the reminder: you are fearfully and wonderfully made, with a purpose.

Seek God, step out, and take the first step toward becoming who you already are.

I know the six-year-old version of me is curious to see the final product of who God intended me to be from the beginning. And so am I.

In the next couple of articles, I’ll return to practical strategies for being a multi-instrumentalist. But this is where it all starts: knowing who we are.

“Facing the Music” in me. God’s not done with me yet!